Skateboarding etiquette: the do's and don'ts of attending a demo.
08.20 Edit This 0 Comments »
IT'S FUNNY TO ME that as soon as I decided not to write about skateboarding, the only ideas I had for articles were about skateboarding. It's sort of like when you tell yourself that you're "definitely not going to drink tonight" and then you end up polishing off a twelver before 10:00 pm. Or is that just me? Anyway, I went to a demo the other day and noticed a lot of younger dudes looking around with sort of a terrified ter·ri·fy
tr.v. ter·ri·fied, ter·ri·fy·ing, ter·ri·fies
1. To fill with terror; make deeply afraid. See Synonyms at frighten.
2. To menace or threaten; intimidate. look in their eyes. Like they had no idea what they were supposed to be doing. And it kind of made me sad. So I thought I'd put together this handy little list of do's and don'ts so that you guys can be all calm and collected at the next demo you go to. You can thank me later.
DO'S
IF YOU SEE a professional skateboarder (or a totally awesome and recognizable amateur) trying to find a quiet corner to sit down in so he can relax for a second, definitely make a point to go sit down right next to him and start asking him about anything having to do with handrails. Be sure to sit no farther used elliptically for) go no farther; say no more, etc.
See also: Farther than six inches away from him.
IF ONE OF THE RIDERS has been making numerous attempts at a really difficult maneuver and they finally land the trick that they've been working towards, then you should probably turn to your friend and tell them that you've already seen that particular stunt performed by a local rider who has no official skateboard sponsorship deals.
OKAY, NOW LETS SAY that you're actually skating with the team during the demo. Maybe you're sponsored by the skatepark A skatepark is a purpose-built recreational environment for skateboarders, bmxers and aggressive skaters to ride and develop their sport and technique. A skatepark may contain half-pipes, quarter pipes, handrails, trick boxes, vert ramps, pyramids, banked ramps, full pipes, stairs, . I don't know. But let's say you're out there with the guys that the crowd is actually there to see skate. It's important that you convince yourself that everybody who is attending the demo is actually there to see you do your same old boring ass routine. Own that routine. Try to get in as many dude's ways as possible, just for bonus awesomeness.
IF YOU NOTICE that the team has their own ice chest with beer or waters or shit like that in it, then definitely hover around it with a glazed look in your eyes. If nobody offers you anything to drink just help yourself. Trust me, they brought enough for everybody. It's sort of like their jobs.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY Adv. 1. most importantly - above and beyond all other consideration; "above all, you must be independent"
above all, most especially (seriously, this is important), go up to every one of the featured demo skateboarders and ask them for free shit. Ask for the deck they're riding. Ask for their shirt. Ask for their bandanas or headbands or spikey bracelets. Whatever they have, try to get it. If they seem unresponsive unresponsive Neurology adjective Referring to a total lack of response to neurologic stimuli , then don't feel bad. You can always talk shit about them on the internet as soon as you get home.
DONT'S
DON'T FORGET to use an extra helping of hair gel the day of the demo. You're going to want your bleached tips to be as spikey as they possibly can be. And don't forget to wear that skate shirt you got at the mall. You know, the yellow Beefy-T with the big ass logo on the front.
DON'T ASK any of the athletes for an autograph unless you are willing to have the autograph placed either on your forehead, your mom's tits, or your sister's bra. If you're asking them to sign your board then it's mandatory that the board you are asking them to sign is not a board that is manufactured by the company that is throwing the demo.
DON'T TRY TO MAKE BUDDIES with the visiting skateboarders by offering them any of the following: drugs, booze, pool parties at your parent's house since they're in Aspen, sexual healing, skatespots beyond their wildest dreams. No wait--actually, do do this. No wait, I was trying to be sarcastic I'm confused now. Basically just bug the shit out of the dudes. Be sure to blow cigarette smoke in their faces while you're talking to them.
DON'T SIT IN YOUR CAR in the parking lot smoking weed unless you have a bumping ass system that's loud enough so that everybody at the demo can hear you blasting that. Eminem CD your cousin left in your ride. Also, when you leave the parking lot, don't just casually drive away. You're gonna want to bust a smoky burnout Burnout
Depletion of a tax shelter's benefits. In the context of mortgage backed securities it refers to the percentage of the pool that has prepaid their mortgage. to the maximum.
AND IF THE DEMO ENDS with any sort of product toss, don't stand idly by and let some other fucker fuck·er
n. Vulgar Slang
1. A despised person.
2. One that engages in sexual intercourse.
Noun 1. catch that board. You're going to want to be willing to lose some goddamn god·damn also God·damn
interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure, anger, or surprise.
n.
Damn.
tr. & intr.v. god·damned, god·damn·ing, god·damns
To damn.
adj. teeth over a 40 dollar price point deck. If you come out of that pit blood free, I'm seriously going to be disappointed with you.
SO THAT SHOULD pretty much get you up and running. Oh, one more thing. If you have a really shitty shit·ty
adj. shit·ti·er, shit·ti·est Vulgar Slang
1. Of very poor quality; highly inferior.
2. Contemptible; despicable.
3. Unfortunate; unpleasant.
4. marijuana leaf tattoo on your arm, then you should probably tip the sleeves off of your shirt so that everybody can see it. But that's kind of a no brainer, huh? Good luck, dudes. Wait, one more thing: be sure to wear some silver necklaces.
tr.v. ter·ri·fied, ter·ri·fy·ing, ter·ri·fies
1. To fill with terror; make deeply afraid. See Synonyms at frighten.
2. To menace or threaten; intimidate. look in their eyes. Like they had no idea what they were supposed to be doing. And it kind of made me sad. So I thought I'd put together this handy little list of do's and don'ts so that you guys can be all calm and collected at the next demo you go to. You can thank me later.
DO'S
IF YOU SEE a professional skateboarder (or a totally awesome and recognizable amateur) trying to find a quiet corner to sit down in so he can relax for a second, definitely make a point to go sit down right next to him and start asking him about anything having to do with handrails. Be sure to sit no farther used elliptically for) go no farther; say no more, etc.
See also: Farther than six inches away from him.
IF ONE OF THE RIDERS has been making numerous attempts at a really difficult maneuver and they finally land the trick that they've been working towards, then you should probably turn to your friend and tell them that you've already seen that particular stunt performed by a local rider who has no official skateboard sponsorship deals.
OKAY, NOW LETS SAY that you're actually skating with the team during the demo. Maybe you're sponsored by the skatepark A skatepark is a purpose-built recreational environment for skateboarders, bmxers and aggressive skaters to ride and develop their sport and technique. A skatepark may contain half-pipes, quarter pipes, handrails, trick boxes, vert ramps, pyramids, banked ramps, full pipes, stairs, . I don't know. But let's say you're out there with the guys that the crowd is actually there to see skate. It's important that you convince yourself that everybody who is attending the demo is actually there to see you do your same old boring ass routine. Own that routine. Try to get in as many dude's ways as possible, just for bonus awesomeness.
IF YOU NOTICE that the team has their own ice chest with beer or waters or shit like that in it, then definitely hover around it with a glazed look in your eyes. If nobody offers you anything to drink just help yourself. Trust me, they brought enough for everybody. It's sort of like their jobs.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY Adv. 1. most importantly - above and beyond all other consideration; "above all, you must be independent"
above all, most especially (seriously, this is important), go up to every one of the featured demo skateboarders and ask them for free shit. Ask for the deck they're riding. Ask for their shirt. Ask for their bandanas or headbands or spikey bracelets. Whatever they have, try to get it. If they seem unresponsive unresponsive Neurology adjective Referring to a total lack of response to neurologic stimuli , then don't feel bad. You can always talk shit about them on the internet as soon as you get home.
DONT'S
DON'T FORGET to use an extra helping of hair gel the day of the demo. You're going to want your bleached tips to be as spikey as they possibly can be. And don't forget to wear that skate shirt you got at the mall. You know, the yellow Beefy-T with the big ass logo on the front.
DON'T ASK any of the athletes for an autograph unless you are willing to have the autograph placed either on your forehead, your mom's tits, or your sister's bra. If you're asking them to sign your board then it's mandatory that the board you are asking them to sign is not a board that is manufactured by the company that is throwing the demo.
DON'T TRY TO MAKE BUDDIES with the visiting skateboarders by offering them any of the following: drugs, booze, pool parties at your parent's house since they're in Aspen, sexual healing, skatespots beyond their wildest dreams. No wait--actually, do do this. No wait, I was trying to be sarcastic I'm confused now. Basically just bug the shit out of the dudes. Be sure to blow cigarette smoke in their faces while you're talking to them.
DON'T SIT IN YOUR CAR in the parking lot smoking weed unless you have a bumping ass system that's loud enough so that everybody at the demo can hear you blasting that. Eminem CD your cousin left in your ride. Also, when you leave the parking lot, don't just casually drive away. You're gonna want to bust a smoky burnout Burnout
Depletion of a tax shelter's benefits. In the context of mortgage backed securities it refers to the percentage of the pool that has prepaid their mortgage. to the maximum.
AND IF THE DEMO ENDS with any sort of product toss, don't stand idly by and let some other fucker fuck·er
n. Vulgar Slang
1. A despised person.
2. One that engages in sexual intercourse.
Noun 1. catch that board. You're going to want to be willing to lose some goddamn god·damn also God·damn
interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure, anger, or surprise.
n.
Damn.
tr. & intr.v. god·damned, god·damn·ing, god·damns
To damn.
adj. teeth over a 40 dollar price point deck. If you come out of that pit blood free, I'm seriously going to be disappointed with you.
SO THAT SHOULD pretty much get you up and running. Oh, one more thing. If you have a really shitty shit·ty
adj. shit·ti·er, shit·ti·est Vulgar Slang
1. Of very poor quality; highly inferior.
2. Contemptible; despicable.
3. Unfortunate; unpleasant.
4. marijuana leaf tattoo on your arm, then you should probably tip the sleeves off of your shirt so that everybody can see it. But that's kind of a no brainer, huh? Good luck, dudes. Wait, one more thing: be sure to wear some silver necklaces.
